one of the things i got written up for at the last clinical...

i totally disagree with.

the other stuff - i was guilty of, and make no excuses for, and was ready to accept whatever consequences they wanted to dish out - including being kicked out of school.

but i got written up for not reading the article* - when i did in fact read the article. i mean how the fuck could you possibly know whether a guy reads an article or not?

i was called on first.

clin instr: (*_*), what was wrong with the patient? [or whatever]

me: he needed a pacemaker

clin instr: why did he need a pacemaker?

me: something was wrong with his heart

clin instr: ...

me: ??? uhhhh.... [flips through article]

clin instr: ok [other student], why did he need a pacemaker?

and that was that.

discussion of the article ensued. that "incident" would be added to my write-up.

but rly who fucking cares if i couldnt answer that question. the reason for needing the pacemaker was trivial. and honestly, even after the post conference discussion, i still dont remember the exact reason the guy needed the pacemaker. and honestly again, i could ve read the article 10 more times, and i still wouldnt have remembered why he needed the pacemaker.

that 5 page article was about the author's aging father's decline in quality of life after having it prolonged by a pacemaker that was implanted, without his understanding that it neednt be, during an unrelated surgery. THIS is what i came prepared to discuss - the main point of the article - the bigger issues of technology, informed choice, and of quality of life versus quantity of life. i mean seriously she might as well have asked me what the name of the father was or how many times the author used the word pacemaker - more trivial bullshit that would have me drawing blanks.

see this is exactly what i mean by nursing school being so fucking annoying - more punishment and more time wasted on bullshit!!

i think this is what the psychic meant about me being a deep thinker, and more likely to succeed in other pursuits. "they" can talk about "critical thinking" and whatever all day, but all i ever see is muddy thinking, inefficiency, and laser guided focus on everything that doesnt matter. and the interesting thing is they're like 100 million times better here than in that other program.

dont get me wrong tho. i was never mad about this incident.

it is just * t o o o o o o * s t o o p i d * to get upset over.

besides, ive been written up so many times already, i dont see how it could matter.
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*technically, i was accused verbally of not reading it, but written up for not being able to answer questions about it. whatever.